July 08, 2010
Yesterday I said I was back. Yes I am.
we'll start this out slow. I have had a great disconnect to almost everything after my nina died. Don't get me wrong, I still put on the most lavish holiday parties and wrap presents with all the trimmings, even attend all the social functions we are invited to... but it's all motions. I am still unfulfilled, empty and sometimes distant. I know this. I recognize it. Last time I went down this road there was a therapist involved. At least this time I am aware of my actions.
This next fiscal year, yes I live by fiscal years... not standard Gregorian calendar, I know I will be back on my game. For a year I took a back seat to my own life, so unlike me.
It's funny, many of us have different aspects of their lives and some only show glimpse of that life... for example this world vs. my face book world are so different. Facebook has my happy time updates, my photos and common salutations or congratulations. Yet here on the blog, which I have documented my life on for the last 6 years, it's the other me. The angst ridden, frustrated, pondering me. The other blog I shut down was one I started in my 20's. I'm 33 now. Life perspectives truly do change as you get older. I guess in a round about way, this is why I decided to change blogs.